CHAPTER 52 A Man Ought Not to Consider Himself Worthy of Consolation, But Rather Deserving of Chastisement

BOOK THREE
INTERNAL CONSOLATION
chapter1-the-inward-conversation-of-christ-with-the-faithful-soul
chapter2-truth-speaks-inwardly-without-the-sound-of-words
chapter3-listen-humbly-to-the-words-of-god-many-do-not-heed-them
chapter4-we-must-walk-before-god-in-humility-and-truth
chapter5-the-wonderful-effect-of-divine-love
chapter6-the-proving-of-a-true-lover
chapter7-grace-must-be-hidden-under-the-mantle-of-humility
chapter8-self-abasement-in-the-sight-of-god
chapter9-all-things-should-be-referred-to-god-as-their-last-end
chapter10-to-despise-the-world-and-serve-god-is-sweet
chapter11-the-longings-of-our-hearts-must-be-examined-and-moderated
chapter12-acquiring-patience-in-the-fight-against-concupiscence
chapter13-the-obedience-of-one-humbly-subject-to-the-example-of-jesus-christ
chapter14-consider-the-hidden-judgments-of-god-lest-you-become-proud-of-your-own-good-deeds
chapter15-how-one-should-feel-and-speak-on-every-desirable-thing
chapter16-true-comfort-is-to-be-sought-in-god-alone
chapter17-all-our-care-is-to-be-placed-in-god
chapter18-temporal-sufferings-should-be-borne-patiently-after-the-example-of-christ
chapter19-true-patience-in-suffering
chapter20-confessing-our-weakness-in-the-miseries-of-life
chapter21-above-all-goods-and-all-gifts-we-must-rest-in-god
chapter22-remember-the-innumerable-gifts-of-god
chapter23-four-things-which-bring-great-peace
chapter24-avoiding-curious-inquiry-about-the-lives-of-others
chapter25-the-basis-of-firm-peace-of-heart-and-true-progress
chapter26-the-excellence-of-a-free-mind-gained-through-prayer-rather-than-by-study
chapter27-self-love-is-the-greatest-hindrance-to-the-highest-good
chapter28-strength-against-slander
chapter29-how-we-must-call-upon-and-bless-the-lord-when-trouble-presses
chapter30-the-quest-of-divine-help-and-confidence-in-regaining-grace
chapter31-to-find-the-creator-forsake-all-creatures
chapter32-self-denial-and-the-renunciation-of-evil-appetites
chapter33-restlessness-of-soul’s directing-our-final-intention-toward-god
chapter34-god-is-sweet-above-all-things-and-in-all-things-to-those-who-love-him
chapter35-there-is-no-security-from-temptation-in-this-life
chapter36-the-vain-judgments-of-men
chapter37-pure-and-entire-resignation-of-self-to-obtain-freedom-of-heart
chapter38-the-right-ordering-of-external-affairs-recourse-to-god-in-dangers
chapter39-a-man-should-not-be-unduly-solicitous-about-his-affairs
chapter40-man-has-no-good-in-himself-and-can-glory-in-nothing
chapter41-contempt-for-all-earthly-honor
chapter42-peace-is-not-to-be-placed-in-men
chapter43-beware-vain-and-worldly-knowledge
chapter44-chapter-do-not-be-concerned-about-outward-things
chapter45-all-men-are-not-to-be-believed-for-it-is-easy-to-err-in-speech
chapter46-trust-in-god-against-slander
chapter47-every-trial-must-be-borne-for-the-sake-of-eternal-life
chapter48-the-day-of-eternity-and-the-distresses-of-this-life
chapter49-the-desire-of-eternal-life-the-great-rewards-promised-to-those-who-struggle
chapter50-how-a-desolate-person-ought-to-commit-himself-into-the-hands-of-god
chapter51-when-we-cannot-attain-to-the-highest-we-must-practice-the-humble-works
chapter-52-a-man-ought-not-to-consider-himself-worthy-of-consolation-but-rather-deserving-of-chastisement
chapter53-god’s-grace-is-not-given-to-the-earthly-minded
chapter54-the-different-motions-of-nature-and-grace
chapter55-the-corruption-of-nature-and-the-efficacy-of-divine-grace
chapter56-we-ought-to-deny-ourselves-and-imitate-christ-through-bearing-the-cross
hchapter57-a-man-should-not-be-too-downcast
chapter58-high-matters-and-the-hidden-judgments-of-god-are-not-to-be-scrutinized
chapter59-all-hope-and-trust-are-to-be-fixed-in-god-alone

The Fifty-Second Chapter
A Man Ought Not to Consider Himself Worthy of Consolation, But Rather Deserving of Chastisement

The Disciple
LORD, I am not worthy of Your consolation or of any spiritual visitation. Therefore, You treat me justly when You leave me poor and desolate. For though I could shed a sea of tears, yet I should not be worthy of Your consolation. Hence, I deserve only to be scourged and punished because I have offended You often and grievously, and have sinned greatly in many things. In all justice, therefore, I am not worthy of any consolation.

But You, O gracious and merciful God, Who do not will that Your works should perish, deign to console Your servant beyond all his merit and above human measure, to show the riches of Your goodness toward the vessels of mercy. For Your consolations are not like the words of men.

What have I done, Lord, that You should confer on me any heavenly comfort? I remember that I have done nothing good, but that I have always been prone to sin and slow to amend. That is true. I cannot deny it. If I said otherwise You would 188 stand against me, and there would be no one to defend me. What have I deserved for my sins except hell and everlasting fire?

In truth, I confess that I am deserving of all scorn and contempt. Neither is it fitting that I should be remembered among Your devoted servants. And although it is hard for me to hear this, yet for truth’s sake I will allege my sins against myself, so that I may more easily deserve to beg Your mercy. What shall I say, guilty as I am and full of all confusion? My tongue can say nothing but this alone: “I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned; have mercy on me and pardon me. Suffer me a little that I may pour out my grief, before I go to that dark land that is covered with the shadow of death.”

What do you especially demand of a guilty and wretched sinner, except that he be contrite and humble himself for his sins? In true sorrow and humility of heart hope of forgiveness is born, the troubled conscience is reconciled, grace is found, man is preserved from the wrath to come, and God and the penitent meet with a holy kiss.

To You, O Lord, humble sorrow for sins is an acceptable sacrifice, a sacrifice far sweeter than the perfume of incense. This is also the pleasing ointment which You would have poured upon Your sacred feet, for a contrite and humble heart You have never despised. Here is a place of refuge from the force of the enemy’s anger. Here is amended 189 and washed away whatever defilement has been contracted elsewhere.